The Onion Recognizes Billy ‘The Jack’ (sort of)

You Don't Know The Jack | January 28th, 2009

The A.V. Club, affiliated with the world famous Onion newspaper, has declared their list of the best presidential songs ever.

Long ago, in a dark, pre-digital Billy ‘The Jack’ recording studio in 2002, The Ed Gein Fan Club came and recorded a demo. It sounds like sh#t because I only used two mics for the whole back-line.

But one track stood out:

57. Ed Gein Fan Club, “Ich Bin Ein Berliner”

It isn’t exactly true that John F. Kennedy solemnly declared in front of thousands of people at the Berlin Wall that he was, like them, a jelly donut. “Berliner,” like “frankfurter” or “hamburger,” has a double meaning that covers foodstuffs and inhabitants of a particular city, and when JFK said “Ich bin ein Berliner,” everyone knew what he meant. Still, the ridiculous image of the dignified Kennedy saying something so nonsensical proved too good for the facts to kill it off, and the “mistake” became a perennially funny part of his legend. In 1985, Minneapolis punk band Ed Gein Fan Club went looking for sacred cows to slay and nailed Kennedy to the wall for crimes against grammar and jelly donuts: “Standing at the wall and he’s giving his speech / The stupid dumb fuck shoulda been impeached / Didn’t even know what the fuck he said / And I’m glad Lee Harvey plugged him in his head.” Surprisingly, few JFK-assassination theories have considered the possibility of a disgruntled pastry chef on the grassy knoll.”

(Here’s The Full Article)

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