My First Solo Performance

Musical History, You Don't Know The Jack | December 26th, 2009

In searching the wayback machine, I rediscovered written nuggets of wisdom from my musical past as part of a new series.

The first is the story of his infamous debut on stage at Seventh Street Entry on the night of April 17, 1993

Sound check was at about seven, my set time was slated for eleven o’clock that night. Sound check went just fine —not a problem! After the check, I had to partially dismantle my wires, cables and crap to leave room for the other bands to set up for theirs.

So to while the time away, I first went to a local strip club to see a friend of mine dance. There was a one drink minimum there, so I had a beer and watched her dance. I had a crush on her and she knew it. She also new that I was to perform that night. She treated me to a lap dance, which further wrecked my already nervous nerves. After her show, I had to have a double shot!

At nine or so, I stumble back to the club. As the night went on, I started to see a lot of people I knew who were there to heckle me, the untried rock star. Little did I know that getting me drunk was part of their plan. I was getting really apprehensive about the set, nervous that I would make a fool out of myself, and my friends only egged me on further by buying me drinks. Next thing I knew, I had to get ready for my set.

The last band had just loaded their gear off the stage and I had some trouble setting things up because I was seeing double, and since no-one else had the slightest idea how I needed to have the cables set up, I had to muddle through. I must have thought I had it right, because the next thing I know, Bill Batson the sound man introduces me.

I look up, and everyone is close packed. I was ready! So I gave my big introduction, something like: “who needs a band when I have this? I’m gonna show you how to really rock, so f- the band!” and I pressed the sequencer’s start button. . . .

NOTHING HAPPENED! I SET IT UP WRONG! In my drunken panic, I frantically set to work setting things straight, all the while, my friends start with the heckling—they were relentless!

Panic. Anger. Frustration. All very potent emotions. After a few false starts, I got things going.

I don’t remember a Goddamned thing.

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