Klingon House of rOQ’

Fiction and Literature | February 26th, 2012

A Klingon ™ deep cover operative in the federation discovers a time worn image of what appears to be a Klingon ™ warrior weilding a strange weapon. But in fact it turns out that the warrior is a human; the leader of a strange Earth cult called heavy metal.

His son on the home world is an outcast music student, and when he receives a strange antique Earth instrument in the mail, he sets out to conquer the youth of the Empire; a conquest fought with his guitar, his adopted clan of outcasts and misfits (including a human) and his passion for the music that has stirred his latent warrior heart.

With the Empire gearing for war with the Federation, some on the High Council will stop at nothing to crush this new invasion from Earth. This Heavy Metal!

I had a million dollar idea that turned out to be worth nothing.

The idea was idiotically preposterous yet deviously ingenious: a story about rock and roll, set in the Star Trek ™ universe on the Klingon ™ homeworld. The editors of the published universe adhere to strict standards, and they will only accept un-solicited stories by unknown writers that are set in the established environments using the established characters. This is their right to do so, and I do not blame them. But, I couldn’t help writing the thing, and now that it is finished, I’ve got to do something with it. I can not sell it, for I would be sued up the ass. (Is there a Klingon word for ass?) Oh, I could set it in my own made up universe, but then it wouldn’t be the gem that it is, so I am really left with two choices: I could throw it away, or give it away. And I know that in giving it away, the story would be just one of many fan stories that can be found in any number of fan club publications. And since this is now a noncommercial product, I am technically not in violation of any laws that concern copyrights and such. So I give it to you, the fans.

But before I do, let me give you some more useless information: As you read this story, you will notice that is isn’t written all that well. Why do a rewrite when you know it’ll never be published and make me my millions. So you get an edited version of the story minus the grammar corrections or re writes — so enjoy at your own risk.

And another thing: a word on misspellings and translations. I have used the proper phonetic spellings as designed by Mark Okrand in order to better cover my ass. English words, for which no tlhIngan words exist have been rendered as they would be spelled and pronounced by tlhIngans. Example: Highway to Hell by AC-DC would be: Iyway tu el by IySI – DeySI. Maybe my translations are not up to snuff for you diehard tlhIngans, but this is just a story.
This story takes place before and during the events of Star Trek VI, the Undiscovered Country.

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